I bite my thumb at you!
we don't have anymore witty comebacks anymore besides "your mom"
Today I am feeling quite devilish so I decided to learn some new insults, maybe not to say out loud...but simply to think of them when the time is right or perhaps whisper it if I am feeling courageous enough. As I was thinking of new ones, I could not to come up with any witty phrases, all of them were mostly influenced by modern day media and I thought what a good excuse this was to learn some medieval jibes.
Feudalism, man-made castles, knights in shining armors, messenger pigeons, Spakespeare, and the Black Plague are some of the traits associated with the medieval period, but why don't we think about how meticulously messy they were? Or how they LOVED to through jabs at each other? Being messy was not a thing created on twitter dot com, it started centuries ago.
In this drawing depicted below, we see a man biting his thumb at someone! *gasp* sorry for the profanity!
In order to fully understand these insults, we must first take a look at the historical context. This was a time where the hierarchical system meant more than your child and where you placed on that pyramid meant the type of insult you were given. This was a battle that resulted in many duels, legal conflicts and in some cases even death. You either had an image to uphold or a societal mountain to climb.
Let's set back the scene and it's 1336, you are having a bad day because your father recently caught smallpox. To make things worse, you are in the kitchen, slaving away, making Edward III his salted salmon with sauced peas and then you hear a roaring voice say “Hurry it up, you Scullion!”
Scullion? me? Would that not cause the spark of wrath to inflame? Would you not want to duel the fool that called thee a “Scullion”?
Unfortunately, I cannot go back in time and take notes on the colloquial insults they used on the daily. However, by great virtue of Martin Luther and Shakespeare, we will now to a look of some of my favorite insults found in written texts:
“You Banbury cheese!” from The Merry Wives of Windsor by Shakespeare means that one might be weak & fragile.
“You canker blossom!” from A Midsummer Night’s Dream by Shakespeare that one is a destroyer everything good around.
“You have a priesthood of Satan.” from Concerning the Ministry by Martin Luther- here he points to the clergy as corrupt aides of such a destructive agent by using theological terminology. This oxymoronic phrase means that the clergy was doing the contrary of what their sacred duty was meant to uphold.
“The devil must speak through you.” from An Open Letter on the Harsh Book Against the Peasants by Martin Luther means one is speaking in a hostile and malicious manner, so much so that the devil is using you as a human talking box.
“I am sick when I do look on thee” from A Midsummer Night’s Dream by Shakespeare means one is unattractive. Simple, yet effective.
“I do bite my thumb, sir” from Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare is modern day’s “f- you”, but you see how gallantly and polite they ended this jibe with a “sir”- I need to see more of this in present day!
Sorry for the egg-tremly egg driven content coming up…
“You Egg!” from Macbeth by Shakespeare means one is a fool.
“Thou art damned, like an ill-roasted egg!” from As You like It by Shakespeare means one is condemned as unworthy.
“Thou pigeon egg” from Love’s Labour’s Lost by Shakespeare meaning one is small, easily breakable, and unrefined.
Honorable mention:
“You sophistic worms, grasshoppers, locusts, frogs and lice!” from Against Latomus by Martin Luther is self explainable, but I must disagree here Sir Luther, I find worms to be quite adorable creatures! Look at this cute worm wearing a bucket hat!
After reading these many insults for hours and hours on end, trying to find my favorite ones, I decided I no longer feel devilish and am actually feeling entirely loving. All these jibes felt personal at times and I am way too sensitive to keep reading, but it was so fun to read about them and to learn what they meant.
…But I refuse to bite my thumb at thee, only to the sophistic frogs who have been unkind to me!
I love you all, my non-canker blossoms! my beautiful budding tulips!
I BITE MY THUMB AT THEE !